Human Slaves Of An Insect Nation, Part 10-Games I won't Get To Run

 Yes sir, only motherfucking wayto travel by Stupid_Crow

Human Slaves of an Insect Nation, Part 10-Games I won’t get to run

Everybody gets a crazy idea stuck in their heads sometimes. Isaac Newton was absolutely convinced that a mysterious gas/element that burns everything but exists only for microseconds at a time existed, even as he kept the theory of gravity in the backburner. A dude called Kevin Eastman and his BFF, Peter Laird, thought it would be fun to make a story about teenage turtles with ninja skills and Renaissance painter names.

Some Japanese dude thought to himself: Imma make me a game that’s kinda about abortion, but it’s mostly intended as sociopolitical commentary! For kids!

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Human Slaves of An Insect Nation, Part 9-Wing It

Eh, it’ll hold.

Human Slaves of An Insect Nation-Just Wing it.

So you fucked up.

Your players missed the roll, the clues, failed to connect the dots and ignored the pleas of NPCs for help. They stabbed the prophet in the throat and one of them ate the sandwhich depicting the GodHead, wherein their true destiny was foretold. They also burned the tavern where they were supposed to meet their contact 

And you prepared all of two things during the entire week: Jack and shit. Also, Jack left town with your wife.

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Why Haven't you read this? Part 3-Awesome Stuff you can find for Free!

Chillin’ at the top of the world by dangerousllama

Why Haven’t You Read This? Part 3-Great Stuff you can find for Free!

Continuing my attempts to bring you stuff from the Interwebs for all of you broke, yet needing entertainment bastards out there, Why Haven’t You Read This? goes one step further, moving away from the norm and established to bring you some of the best stuff out there, made by aspiring writers!

In keeping with the original rules set up in part 2, here’s…

Some pretty cool shit by people you haven’t heard of-yet

Because maintaining obscurity and a façade of indifference to recognition is for assholes…

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Why Haven't You Read This? Part 2-Electric Boogaloo

Endless electronic vistas by DarkNeon

Why Haven’t You Read This? Part 2-Electric Boogaloo

It only recently occurred to me that I am broke. Oh sure, I have a day job as a jeweler but most of my income is used to pay my bills, which leaves me little to no income that I can allocate to entertainment, which is why I usually hang out at my friend Jim’s house, where I abuse his hospitality watching movies on his giant-ass TV and gobbling down his wife’s cooking.

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Human Slaves of An Insect Nation, Part 8-Bullshit Science and You!

Mad, mad, mad, mad science-man by qione

Human Slaves of An Insect Nation, Part 8-Bullshit Science and you!

Quick, what do the following types of sorcery have in common?

Alloymancy

Thaumaturgy

Clap-hands-twice-and-shit-appears (AKA Fullmetal) Alchemy?

Necromancy

Technomancy

Math 

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Σισσύφιες Επιστολές-Η Γέννηση του Άλεφ, Μέρος 12ο

Το λειτουργικό σύστημα του Συνεχούς τςν Μαύρων Βραχμάνων.

Τόνυ:

«Βλέπεις λοιπόν, την έκταση του θριάμβου σου, Σαϊχούρ; Πολύ σύντομα, με τη δική σου συμβολή, δε θα έχουμε ανάγκη την Πανανθρώπινη Αυτοκρατορία και δε θα υποτάσσουμε την ευφυΐα μας στις δολοπλοκίες του Τριμούρτι! Θα έχουμε ολόκληρα συνεχή για να εξουσιάζουμε, οι πόροι, η δύναμη και  η δόξα τους αιώνια δική μας!»

Τα λόγια του Μπάμπα-τζι ακούγονταν αρχικά αόριστα μέσα στο μυαλό του, κάθε λέξη σχηματιζόμενη σαν το μονοπάτι ενός σαλιγκαριού και ύστερα επιταχύνθηκε, καθώς ο Τόνυ έμπαινε και πάλι στη ροή του αντικειμενικού χρόνου. 

Ο Τόνυ-id του απάντησε:

«Και η Αυτοκρατορία; Δεν οφείλουμε σε αυτούς έστω και μερικά ψίχουλα της δόξας μας;»

«Η Αυτοκρατορία αποτελείται από μάζες ηλιθίων, που τα κατώτερα μυαλά τους και τα ένστικτά τους μας κράτησαν καθηλωμένους σε αυτό τον μακρινό πλανήτη στο χείλος του πουθενά! Ο Βισνού και το υπόλοιπο Τριμούρτι θεωρούσαν ότι ήμασταν ερημίτες αναλυτές και μας φόρτωναν με κάθε αποτυχημένη ιδέα των τεχνικών του Αλντεμπαράν, ζητώντας λύσεις για την ανικανότητά τους! Ο Μποττισάτβα Γκουοτίν  τιμωρήθηκε για μία αποτυχία, ενώ κάθε του θρίαμβος παραγράφηκε!»

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That Fateful Day

Park Benches on the Apocalypse by Neriak

“I’m not eating that.” Debbie said for the hundredth time. Bart shrugged and put the dead rat in his pocket, to save for later.

“I’m cold, Bart. Why did we have to go out today? Why couldn’t we have stayed back home?” Debbie moaned and Bart didn’t list the myriad reasons why staying home wasn’t the wonderful idea his wife thought it was.

“At least we had a roof over our heads. And walls to keep away the cold…” Debbie responded, as if having read Bart’s thoughts. “And we were in the suburbs. It wasn’t so bad in the suburbs. And there wasn’t that much fallout. And we had Mr. Stevens’ bomb shelter to hide in. I bet he’d let us in, if only you’d let me talk to him.”

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Human Slaves of An Insect Nation, Part 7-The Importance Of Knowing When To Shut Up

 If these begin to spontaneously appear during your gaming session, then you’re doing it wrong…

Human Slaves of an Insect Nation, Part 7-The importance of knowing when to shut up.

Previous articles dealt with managing players, the illusion of power and some campaign management details. But this one, this one is special. Because this article deals with YOU, the Storyteller, in a manner that we have not yet approached.

Remember how I told you that you were going to fuck up a lot? Remember how I explained that you may make a ton of mistakes rules-wise and mess up in micromanaging the campaign?

Well there’s also a chance that you’re talking too much. And by talking too much I don’t mean “you do all the funny voices for every NPC” or even “give away too much information” (though this is also a problem that we’re going to cover) but that “you talk so goddamn much that your entire presentation becomes background noise”.

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What I Think About Stuff-Stuff I'll Do When I Grow Up: Rise and Fall (Part Three: Meet the Underdogs)

Everybody loves the underdog…

Stuff I’ll Do When I Grow Up-Rise and Fall (Part Three: The Underdogs)

So with the antagonists and the setting in motion, who or what is left there to pick up the pieces and keep on going? What are they fighting for? Who could possibly be ballsy (or mad) enough to go up against beings like Titan or Roland Vadus (or Hell, even the living city of Carcossa)?

To know that, we need to once again look into Rise and Fall’s history, but this time try to pay attention at the little things, the side-characters that have dwelt in the shadow of Sentinel and the movers and shakers of the world; at the people who, while superhuman, may barely make the cut.

I’m talking about…

The Frontliners

Dealing with whatever Sentinel can’t be arsed to deal with, since 1972

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What I Think About Stuff-Stuff I'll Do When I Grow Up: Rise and Fall (Part Two: The Grand Scheme of Things)

“Before we can understand the way the totality of the multiverse works, we need first to be wary of it” Doctor Infinity, Sentinel Handbook, 1963

Stuff I’ll do When I Grow Up-Rise and Fall (Part Two: The Grand Scheme of Things)

The multiverse has proven itself, time and again, to be both a place of infinite opportunity, as well as home to unimaginable peril. Sentinel and the entirety of the Rise and Fall universe have faced multiversal threats time and again, coming to know their enemies, categorizing and studying both them and the worlds they have originated from.

It was during the 50’s, in the aftermath of World War 2, when Dr. Infinity and his Infinity Squad commenced project DREAMTIME, in an attempt to explore and further understand the multiverse that surrounded their continuum.

Doctor Ariadne Infinity, exploring the outskirts of Carcossa.

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What I Think About Stuff-Stuff I'll do when I grow up: Rise and Fall (Part One: The Set-Up)

Infinite worlds, endlessly unfolding…

Stuff I’m going to do when I grow up-Rise and Fall (Part One: The Setting)

The previous article detailed the story’s outline and Rise and Fall’s basic cosmology. It spoke of the decline of superhumanity and the slow but certain death of the OverMan through a decades-long whimper, not a bang.

But what has been the function of the superhumans in this Universe? How have they actually changed Earth and made human civilization into this construct that no longer requires them? And, above all, how much has all this changed mankind?

Does the future hold the hi-tech bling it promised?

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What I Think About Stuff-Things I'll do when I grow up: Rise and fall (an introduction)

Hug a tiger. Hope to God it gets the joke.

What I Think About Stuff-Things I’m Gonna Do When I Grow Up: Rise and Fall

The idea of one day writing for comic books had always been a dream for me, but it mostly consisted of lots of awards that I’d receive for stuff I hadn’t even thought off (or written down) yet. I had no plan, no outline, no goddamn clue, but I knew one thing for certain:

When I grew up, I was gonna write superhero comics.

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Waht I Think About Stuff-Full Metal Orgasm Anthology [NSFW]

Future sex is scary…

 

What I Think About Stuff-Full Metal Orgasm Anthology Review [NSFW]

DISCLAIMER: The following article contains images (both actual and mental) that are unsafe for work. Proceed at your own caution. If at any point during this article you develop an erection, punch yourself at the base of the shaft and keep reading. This shit’s better than porn.

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Shamgar Shroud and the Quasid Emperor

Shamgar Shroud, the Last Champion of Terra.

 Bound by chains forged from the heart of a dwarf star, enclosed in an dis-entropic shell, contained within an orichalcum casing, held aloft by gravitron beams that reproduced the effects of Magamun’s crushing gravity, Shamgar Shroud was led before the Quasid Emperor.

“Quasid-Ya!” the Grand Templar, Host of the Star Legions commanded and the assembled myriad of the Emperor’s personal guard saluted on the spot, flame-lances at hand, void pistols at the ready, each reflected upon the other on their suits of mirror armor, an army stretching to infinity.

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Σισσύφιες Επιστολές, Η Γέννηση του Άλεφ-μέρος 11ο

Ναράκα, 3.0

Και τους είπε. Οι εκφάνσεις του χαμογέλασαν και χάθηκαν μέσα στο κενό, καθώς επέστρεψε πίσω στον πραγματικό χρόνο, έξω από το μυαλό του.

6500 μΕ, Τέρρα Πρίμα, κάτω από τον Θόλο του Πόθου.

Η Χήρα κοίταξε τα κορίτσια που είχαν απομείνει, χαϊδεύοντας το πρόσωπό της ασυναίσθητα, τα δάχτυλά της περνώντας πάνω από τις ρυτίδες στα μάγουλά της. 

Ένιωθε πως είχε γεράσει μέσα σε αυτές τις σήραγγες. Ένιωθε πως βρισκόταν μέσα στο λαρύγγι ενός κτήνους, που της απομυζούσε χρόνια με αόρατες, μικροσκοπικές βεντούζες, αφήνοντας πίσω του άχρηστη, γέρικη σάρκα  και κατάμαυρες σκέψεις.

Η ομάδα τους είχε υποστεί μεγάλες απώλειες κατά την έξοδό τους από το συγκρότημα από την αρχή της διαδρομής. Παρά τις προσπάθειες τους, πολλά από τα κορίτσια είχαν χαθεί μέσα στο λαβύρινθο κάτω από τον Θόλο, είτε παίρνοντας μια λάθος στροφή, είτε προσπαθώντας να ξεφύγουν αφού πρώτα άρπαζαν ό,τι μπορούσαν από τις υπόλοιπες. 

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Human Slaves of An Insect Nation, Part 6-The Illusion of power

“Here too it’s masquerade, I find:
As everywhere, the dance of mind.
I grasped a lovely masked procession,
And caught things from a horror show…
I’d gladly settle for a false impression,
If it would last a little longer, though.”
― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 

Human Slaves of An Insect Nation, Part 6-The Illusion of Power 

In part 5 of this article series, I explained the importance of the appearance of power over actual power. In short, I was segwaying into handling higher levels without the hassle of number-juggling and advanced cock-fencing.

This approach in gaming is certainly unorthodox and seems, at first, downright lazy.

So you’re not willing to memorize 3 pages filled with shoddily written rules and parameters about aborted god-demon fetuses? For shame, sir! For shame!

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Rock Across the Ages

Remember that sexy motherfucker who drew me my awesome banner?

yes, this guy.

Long time ago, when we were in the army, we used to toss around ideas on a comic book script. There were a lot of ideas tossed around, very few of them good (or even viable) ones. We settled for a short comic based on rock music, thus giving birth to...

Oh, enough with the introductions: behold the BIRTH OF ROCK AND ROLL, in a moderately historically accurate fashion.

Homo neotherdalensis discovers the electric guitar and sound amplifier

Drum beats in the jungle.

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The Trials of the Great God

The Shaman's Daughter

Great drums beat in the jungle. Taut skins and hollowed logs echo with strange rhythm, as they’re struck with bare hands and short clubs, their ends wrapped in thick cloth.

Some beat a slow, steady rhythm every hour. These beats the animals do not fear, because they have found out that they mean them no harm. They also mean that there will be no hunt for today. They mean that they should not watch for any hidden snares, or fear the sudden appearance of stone-tipped arrows, aimed toward their hearts, their wings, their stomachs.

Sometimes, the drums beat a faster rhythm. This makes the animals feel uneasy, because it means that the great hunters with skins black as old tree bark have spotted fair game. They have learned that the short, rapping sounds mean big game; they mean antelopes, which run as fast as their long legs would take them. They mean zebras, which shake their manes and huddle together, pushing the weakest to the edges of the herd. They mean hogs, who grind their great tusks against tree bark and stone, sharpening them to a fine edge, their minds filled with murderous thoughts.

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Σισσύφιες Επιστολές-Η Γέννηση του Άλεφ-μέρος 10ο

Τόνυ-iD

6500 μΕ, άγνωστος πλανήτης εκτός καταγεγραμμένου Σύμπαντος

Ραλφ:

Από το μαύρο κουτί του ανδροειδούς Ραλφ (κωδικός 24C41):

Η παραβίαση των συστημάτων ασφαλείας και η είσοδός μου στο ζιγκουράτ των ερημιτών ήταν επικίνδυνη και θα ήταν αδύνατη με συμβατικά μέσα. Δε μπορούσα να ρισκάρω την ακεραιότητα μου, βασιζόμενος στη νοητική ανεπάρκεια των οργανικών σχεδιαστών των συστημάτων ασφαλείας, αλλά μπορούσα να εκμεταλλευτώ το προφανέστατο κενό στην άμυνα που αποκάλυψα με μία απλή ανίχνευση του χώρου.

Οι ερημίτες είχαν ένα σύστημα άμεσης μεταφοράς εξοπλισμού, τόσο συστημάτων άμυνας όσο και άλλων εργαλείων ή αναγκαίων, μέσω νανο-γεννητριών Φερμί-Λάμπαχ. Με τη σωστή δόνηση και αλληλεπίδραση των σωματιδίων, μπορούσαν να μεταφέρουν τα πάντα από το ζιγκουράτ τους ή μέσα από συσκευές υπερχωρητικότητας μέσα σε αυτό στα χέρια τους και να το στείλουν πίσω, μόλις είχαν ολοκληρώσει την εργασία για την οποία τα προόριζαν.

Αρχικός μου στόχος ήταν να χρησιμοποιήσω ό,τι είχε απομείνει από τον κινητήρα της Δέσποινας Ημών εν Κινδύνω, προκειμένου να τη συγχρονίσω με τη συχνότητα των σωματιδίων που καλούσαν τα συστήματα άμυνας περιμετρικά του κτηρίου. Φυσικά, ο ξυρός του Όκκαμ έκρινε ότι έπρεπε να υπάρχει ένας πιο αποδοτικός τρόπος για να επιτύχω το σκοπό μου και μου προσέφερε τρεις από τους μαυροντυμένους ερημίτες για να χρησιμοποιήσω.

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Human Slaves Of An Insect Nation-Part 5

Great on paper, shit in practice!

 

Human Slaves of An Insect Nation, Part five-Threat Scaling Or from Kobolds to the Planes  

I’d just like to take a moment so I can state that the Epic Level Handbook was the single dumbest idea in the history of tabletop roleplaying.

Outshining Savage Species’ stupidity the way an exploding sun outshines a firefly’s glow.

With that in mind, allow me to move on to my argument:

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