From the
personal notebook of Jack Schmidt, sole victim of the events of December 21st,
2012:
-Pasta (2
packets)
-Hot
peppers (1/2 kilo)
-Dishwashing
soap the green one
-That
fucking red wine she likes
-Rice basmati, long
-Mushrooms (not
the brown ones, they give me gas) please get the brown ones, baby
-2 liter
coke remember your diet, sweetie
-Fucking
expensive lettuce it’s Romain. Get two
-12 plastic
bags, the big ones
-One
hacksaw
-24 cans of
condensed milk, for no fucking reason whatsoever you seriously want to
go out and shop just for that next time?
-Tomatoes
(3 kilos) try to get the really juicy red ones, I love
those
-12-litre
Drain-O bottle
-Blowtorch
-Condoms
(12-pack) try not to get the latex ones, they give me
a rash
-A better
fucking girlfriend
-An
isolated place by the highway where I can bury her so nobody will notice.
-Spade.
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