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So yeah, this is the creepiest thing I’ve seen all week…
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Movies From the Multiverse-Captain Planet
I used to be in love with the
idea of gritty remakes of good, old-fashioned kid’s shows. I used to laugh at
the murderous little shock skits of Robot Chicken, where the Hanna Barbera
characters would turn into serial killers and I died laughing when I saw the
Batman-gets-his-spine-broken gag on the DC comics special.
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| It very nearly ruined Dark Kinght Returns for me, to be honest. Couldn’t stop singing the jig whenever Bane did something badass. |
But I got pretty sick of it, really fast, mostly
because Hollywood has become drunk off its pornography of pessimism, counting
on shock value and nostalgia to produce dark, grimy movies with no
entertainment value beyond the first screening. However, as this trend does not
show any real signs of waning, I have chosen to place my two cents on the
Internet, in the vain hope that maybe I can make abuse a franchise that has so
far eluded any attempts to remake it, mostly due to its overwhelming
cheesiness.
With that in mind, I give you:
The Shapescapes Captain Planet Grim
and Gritty Remake:
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Cue over-produced chorus remake of the Captain planet theme song
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