Πέμπτη, 31 Ιανουαρίου 2013

Waht I Think About Stuff-Full Metal Orgasm Anthology [NSFW]

Future sex is scary…

What I Think About Stuff-Full Metal Orgasm Anthology Review [NSFW]
DISCLAIMER: The following article contains images (both actual and mental) that are unsafe for work. Proceed at your own caution. If at any point during this article you develop an erection, punch yourself at the base of the shaft and keep reading. This shit’s better than porn.

You sure you wanna go on with this?

Do me a favor and check if anybody’s looking for a sec.

Okie doke then, let’s go!

Sexpunk in a nutshell.

By using this visual medium, I can immediately present the core idea behind Full Metal Orgasm and the sexpunk genre. Brent Millis (the editor and publisher of this anthology) presents it in a much more eloquent manner, but you didn’t come here for the literature, did you? You came for the tits and you’ll get tits aplenty.

And asses. Because this website has values.

I met Brent through Facebook and he presented the anthology asking whether ‘I’d like to check it out, no pressure.’ So I read it, expecting that at best, I would write a review about how I could fap to this and say that it’s a great example of erotica, written by competent scifi writers.

What I did not expect was that I’d get my mind blown to fuck

Pictured: myself, mid-narrative blowjob.

Sexpunk is, in a nutshell, hentai cyberpunk. It deals with the strange, unexpected and cock-wilting paths that sex can (and will) take in the future. It is not fap material. It’s nightmare fuel and the product of imaginative people who had a ton of fun weaving these stories, without once slipping in quality.

The idea of how sex might become an entity on its own right and how our perversions will evolve alongside us is not a new thing in science fiction, but it’s always been a no-no for most writers, remaining forever in the realm of fictional anathema.

Right up there with deicide and the responsibility of man toward his progeny.
Sure, scifi series like Transmetropolitan hinted at the weird future-sex that was to come, but Full Metal Orgasm takes it a step further and my God it…is…glorious!

I’m talking involuntary observation of masturbation, leading to epic fuck-session (followed by pancakes) glorious.

Full Metal Orgasm (at least to me) was scifi blasphemous, delightfully horrible and funny as fuck. But more on that later, as we look deeper into uncomfortably-themed science fiction about the disgusting things science can (and will do) to a human body with…

Sexualeyes by M.T. Starkey.

*bleep* partner is about to achieve orgasm. Increase thrusting to 300 rpm.

Sexualeyes was the story that got me into the anthology face-first. It was violent, gruesome and it detailed the specifics of illegal product testing in the market. What kind of products?

Well this is a cuberpunk anthology, so why don’t we go for the most useful but also most icky bit in the human body? And what’s the ickiest bit, besides the genitals? Well, how about the eyes?

And while we’re busy making the eyes better at their job and give them wifi access, why don’t we also give them a cool feature that lets you read someone’s sexual responses and gives you tips on how to make them cum? Also, why don’t we use this as an excuse to make fuck-zombies?

This story was a great introduction to this anthology’s theme. It made me shudder and shiver but, most of all, it intrigued me enough to want to look further into it.  

Without having read the table of contents, I moved on to the next story called…

Cyborgasm Stompfuck by Elizabeth A. Black.

Actual Google Image result withheld in the interest of maintaining any semblance of a reader base.

Look at the title. Just look at it. Some of you will be shocked by it. Others might act the prude and think this is too low brow for your tastes. As for me? Well, I laughed my ass off.

And then I read the story.
Elizabeth Black explained to me that the theme women’s abuse has always featured prominently in her fiction. She deals with sexual abuse, mental and verbal abuse in all walks of life and always seeks to present it to her audience in a way that will shock and force them to action.

But if every other piece of her work is aimed to raise awareness, then Cyborgasm is the bit where she gets to tear the abusers a new asshole. It’s a piece that just radiates anger. I’d call it revenge porn, but that would be too literal a term and would not do it any justice.

Instead, I’m going to present you with the basic premise of this story: women’s abuse is a very real thing that is happening right now. But there are limits to how far it can go. I mean, a woman is a human being that is protected by law, society and her own biology, setting a limit to how much she is going to take before she either defends herself or plain old snaps.

But what happens is she’s a sexbot?

Built to your every specification and programmed to do every despicable thing no carbon-based unit would ever agree to?
What happens if that woman is an automaton that can be broken, smashed and crushed and then repaired, ad infinitum? What happens if that automaton is also your property and unable to defend itself?

Cyborgasm nearly made me lose my lunch in a good way and promises a great payoff, too (with assorted food for thought). But Full Metal Orgasm isn’t all about grimness, no sir. Hence…

Jizzemboweler by Made in DNA

Apparently, Japan no longer holds the monopoly in fictional Asian killer space sex-borgs.
Jizzemboweler was so lighthearted and refreshing (in comparison to Cyborgasm) that it made me smile in that stupid way you smile when you first hear a great iteration of the Aristocrats joke.

It’s terrible and terribly funny and it deals with space vice cops and sexually deviant serial killers. It doesn’t take itself seriously for start to finish and the ending…

Let’s just say that someone sticks his cock where they shouldn’t have in the first place.

Of course, light-heartedness and fun with anal sex jokes is all well and good, until you get to…

The Companion by Deborah L. Warner

You’ll come for the guy-on-guy sex, you’ll stay for the intriguing scifi dystopian setting.

I’m not into dudes, so when I read Mrs. Warner’s credentials, my homophobic impulses kicked in and I wanted to put this story off for as long as possible. But then I read on further and I realized something:

The Companion is a very well presented and written science fiction piece. It subtly presents a terrible future, where mankind is plagued by famine, overpopulation (coupled with a severe decline in birth rates) and above all, crime. A totalitarian world government is also hinted at, but never presented.

The Companions is one of those stories where you get a chance to glimpse at a much bigger image that just dwells just beyond the corner. You get the information you need by subtle hints, while avoiding unnecessary exposition and you get to learn about the conditions of living (and the extremes that people go to just to survive in the story’s setting).

Mrs. Warner also told me how this story ties into a greater science fiction series and you know what? Maybe I’d like to give it a go, someday.

Dude-on-dude not doing it for you? Well then son, how about you try…

Little Death by James ‘Grim’ Desborough’

I…uhhh…umm…God, where was I going with this?

Little Death was one of my favorite entries in this anthology. Like the Companion, it hints at a bigger setting, at impossible technology and the future of both sex and hitmen.

Actually, scratch that. It doesn’t just hint at the future of sex and hitmen. It hints at something else: at something that is dystopian, but not in the usual sense of the word. It’s not a world that has been twisted into shape by the hand of a malignant power. Instead, it’s a story about mankind having become something more (and less) than men, by virtue of their technology.

The fact that it is hot as fuck and throws you a curve-ball that smacks you upside the brain also helps.

It was also the one and only time I gave half a shit about fictional snipers.

Night of the Mother by Rick Moore

Trust me son: you have no fucking idea.

Night of the Mother is a tentacle hentai horror story. Here is a succession of my reaction faces as I read through it:
2 pages in.

6 pages in
8 pages in

This story is competently written, scaring the living fuck out of you when appropriate and making you laugh your balls off when required. If you love Japanese gorror B-Movies and a great story, the Night of the Mother is just for you.

But how can you follow this up? Well, the only thing I can come up with is…

Espionage Dolls by Glynn Barass

Big tits and bounteous boo-tay. IN SPAACE!
When I later talked with Glyn Barass (who is a pretty cool guy) I was surprised to find out that he is actually a very mature person who is currently living out his life-long dream of being a writer for his favorite RPG gaming line.

I also found out that his work is mostly serious, well-founded with a non-nonsense approach. He’s also great at horror.

Keep that in mind as you read through a story that could perhaps make the best porn scene you could ever watch, ever.

Besides Gianna Michaels’ first (and only) anal scene.

But enough with sexy fun and games. Let’s get down to earth and hide inside a bunker with…

Wasters by John Trevillian

Dystopia never read so goddamn good…

Wasters reads like you’re on drugs. It’s fast, it’s strong, it’s read in a break-neck pace and the words reek of cordite and sex in back alleys.

The words are highlighted by neon signs and you sit in the cockpit of the story the entire time, plummeting through grim darkness and thinking: 

Oh God, please, make me wake up when it’s over…
If you thought sexpunk would be all about cock-jokes, then this is the story that will make you change your mind. It’s violent as fuck and it takes you on a ride through a sociopath’s brain.

Thank God the anthology doesn’t end this way though, or I’d be having a very hard time coming up with a punchline. What we get instead, is the perfect balance between grimness and goofiness, with…

Day of the Wang by Scott Corum

This doesn’t look suggestive at all…
“Hey, whatcha reading?” my girlfriend asked, as she saw me hunched over this anthology’s final entry.

“It’s a story from Full Metal orgasm. It’s called ‘Day of the Wang’”

“Hahaha, no way!”

“Yes way.”
“Can you read it to me?”

And I did. I even did all the voices and the sound effects when the cyber-cock took over the heavy-duty machinery. I had to stop at some points, because I just couldn’t keep a straight face but you know what?

She never once asked me to stop. She stayed there and she heard every goddamn word. Because Day of the Wang may be a story about a killer robo-cock, but if it’s good enough to make me girlfriend sit down and listen to it, then it’s good enough for you.

So this is FMO in a nutshell. You go in thinking you’ll get this:


And you end up getting your stupid brain blown to shit by awesome stories, written by exceptionally talented people. So if you’re looking to get yourself some excellent science fiction the likes of which you haven’t seen before, FMO is for you!

The downright vool people that have worked on this anthology and where to find them:

Michael Starkey is an Australian Nightmare weaver, said to secretly breed killer Dodos with laser eyes and the voices of screaming toddlers, in the interest of further upsetting the Australian ecosystem. You can find his FaceBook page here:

Elizabeth Black writes very angry and thoughtful erotica. When she isn't writing erotica, she builds horror landscapes and populates them with the damned:

Brent Millis lives in Japan, smack-dab in weird country. He likes to use his fiction to make people terrified of their cocks. Friend him on FaceBook and ask him about his Sexpunk-themed purity packages.


Deborah Warner has so far successfully made a living from writing yaoi fiction with surprisingly epic backgrounds. She's also a huge scifi nerd, even though she doesn't look the part.


James "Grim" Desborough is an rpg author who has worked for a number of great gaming companies (Wizards of the Coast and Mongoose Publishing, to name but a few). Unbeknownst to him, his Slayer's Guide to Rules Lawyers also helped me dodge a bullet when I was about to punch a know-it-all friend in the balls mid-game.


Rick Moore is the kind of guy I'd buy a dozen beers, only so he could tell me his own version of the Aristocrats. Nuff said.


Glynn Owen Barass works at my dream job as a writer for the gaming company Chaosium for Call of Cthulhu. He's also making a Lovecraft-Mythos inspired biker gang roleplaying game. He was gonna tell me more, but then I started throwing my money at him.


John Trevillian's skull if filled with writhing, screaming maggots, controlled by a greater malevolent intelligence underneath.

http://www.trevillian.com & http://www.talliston.com

Scott Corum is the creator of Hot Chicks RPG and he can run my game any day he wants.

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