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Τρίτη 17 Δεκεμβρίου 2013
Δευτέρα 9 Δεκεμβρίου 2013
Games from the Multiverse-Beyond: Two Souls
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| The mess to outhype and outproduce the Dr Who 50th anniversary special… |
Games From The Multiverse-Beyond: Two Souls
DISCLAIMER: In light of this being my 150th post, I have decided to epxeriment with podcasting this very same article. If you think it sucks, let me know and simply click on the title to read it, instead! Intro music mashup courtesy of Fotis Wiz Frikiman Kyriazidis
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Τρίτη 3 Δεκεμβρίου 2013
What I Think About Stuff-The 10 Things I wish someone had told me when I decided to become a writer
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| Damn, is that romantic approach so full of shit... |
Ah, the
joys of writing! Sitting down at a vintage typewriter, as the camera pans out
to show your old, dusty room, bookshelves crammed with literary heroes as the
rain and the wind rattle your windows and the electrical bills pile up under
the door. The infinite joys of seeing your name in print; a publication among
your chosen genre’s greats! A movie deal, just around the corner! Baying
fangirls (or fanboys) clustered around your coffee shop! Sounds good, doesn’t
it? Except it’s not, not really…
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Παρασκευή 29 Νοεμβρίου 2013
What I Think About Stuff-Why Hans Zimmer needs to be smacked in the face (guest article by Fotis Wiz Frikiman Kyriazidis)
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| Well, besides the obvious reason: he DOES appear to have a very punchable face. |
Greetings,
Shapescapers! In this post, I'm going to rant about today's most overrated film
composer, the one and only Hans “BWOOOMMM” Zimmer.
This guy
has become a celebrity among composers, having achieved a god-like status by
fanboys who feed on anything even remotely “epic” sounding. I'm about to
discuss some of the uglier truths about his more recent output and focus on the
drivel that he has churned out for the Christopher Nolan films, which (in a
just and caring Universe) should have destroyed his career instead of raising
his popularity.
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Σάββατο 16 Νοεμβρίου 2013
Capes & Clockwork-An interview with Robert J. Krog
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| Robert Krog: Weaver of Worlds, Caretaker of Orchards and all around stand-up dude |
With
me today is Robert J. Krog, a family man, a certified, lawn care, spray tech,
and above all, a writer. I see that you like asking people why do they write,
so I think I should take it in another direction and ask: why don't you stop
writing? What's that thing that makes you want to sit down on your keyboard and
come up with worlds?
I don’t stop writing, because if I did,
I’d just be a Walter Mitty, and I can’t stand the thought. I also have a little arrogance in me that
tells me I’m a pretty good writer and maybe it’s what God put me here to
do. If so, I’m not carrying out the duty
all that well, but I try. I’m a natural
daydreamer, much like Walter Mitty, and the stories and other worlds come to be
whenever my hands are busy, but my mind is free. It seems a shame to waste them all. I probably let two or three stories die,
unwritten every day, but some, I hold onto, take notes for and attempt to get
down in full. Some of these even see
publication somewhere, sometimes. I
won’t say I’m compelled or unable to stop, but it does feel that way at
times.
I actually have tried to stop a few
times, tried to give it up as futile, and failed. I’m nearly forty, and my first story,
excepting a couple of bits in the high school literary journal, didn’t see print
until just four years ago. That’s a long
time to go unpublished and not give up.
My natural thought patterns are stories and essays. I’m not sure how I’d change that, but I
wouldn’t want to try. I love
storytelling.
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Δευτέρα 28 Οκτωβρίου 2013
Παρασκευή 25 Οκτωβρίου 2013
What I think About Stuff-Capes & Clockwork Mega-Interview
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| Spandex and Steam and Ether and Lead-Spitting repeaters. This…is Capes & Clockwork. |
What I think About Stuff-Capes & Clockwork
Mega-Interview
A while ago, I stumbled on a submissions call for an
anthology called Capes & Clockwork. The idea of getting to write a story
about steampunk superheroes was more than a welcome challenge, but getting my
stuff accepted in it? Hot diggity damn.
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| Artist’s reproduction of my victory dance |
In the interest of getting to brag about this instance
of excellent news, I have decided (after some careful consideration) to get you, the reader, to know some of the
people behind the awesome stories in this. And while my original intention was
to get every single one of the good people in this anthology in one room and
shine a cold, hard light on each of their faces as I bombarded them with
questions, circumstances forced me to adopt an entirely different approach:
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| The classy kind. |
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Σάββατο 21 Σεπτεμβρίου 2013
The Glass-Dad
The hardest
part about losing your dad is when your mom just can’t be a grown up about it.
It’s even worse when she tries to replace him.
I look at
the glass-dad with the transparent head sitting on the kitchen table and I
daren’t even come in so I can get my cereal. My belly’s rumbling as I look at
the waffles going cold on the table, but I won’t touch them, because I know
that its microscopic camera-lens eyes are looking at them.
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Σάββατο 7 Σεπτεμβρίου 2013
What I think About Stuff-Red Phone Box Review
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| And old thing, out of its appointed time and place, marooned in the 21st century… |
What I Think About Stuff-Red Phone Box, or I know I’m not supposed to
call it an Anti-TARDIS, but I’m gonna anyway.
There was this game I used to
play a lot in High School, called Exquisite Corpse. For those of you unfamiliar
the rules, it kinda goes like this:
Dude A writes a short story
that’s about anything. Strippers with hearts of depleted uranium,
robot-children on their way to Mars or a boring pencil-pusher in Hell. He then
passes it on to Lass B, who continues the story based only on the last line of
Dude A’s story. The result (provided the people you are playing with aren’t a
bunch of boring-as-fuck squares) is usually magnificent
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| Or hints at the summoning of an ancient fertility-god via a human vessel somehow. Hilarity ensues. |
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Κυριακή 18 Αυγούστου 2013
What I Think About Stuff-From Post Apocalypse to Post Misery
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| Ain’t no party like an “Everybody’s dead” party |
What I Think About Stuff-From Post-Apocalypse to Post-Misery
The idea of
the end of the world and the annihilation of our species (along with everything
else) is nothing new to fiction. As a matter of fact, the end of the world has
been a staple of human civilization since the time of the Babylonians, who were
the first to annihilate the world by floods, barely a few thousand years into
the birth of civilization.
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Σάββατο 27 Ιουλίου 2013
The Mother of Monsters
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| Based on an image By Josef Fadel Simon |
Behold Her, the Mother of Monsters
born of the Primordial Abyss and the First Winter
born of the Primordial Abyss and the First Winter
I remember
my birth quite vividly: the sliding down the fleshy tunnel from where I was
created, born from mortal seed and her blasphemous egg. I remember how I screamed,
when I beheld the light for the first time, as I was dragged by pious men out
into the world above.
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Σάββατο 20 Ιουλίου 2013
SINGULARIT-O!
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| THE TOY OF THE FUTURE, TODAY! (created by Spiros Meander Makridakis) |
Heeeeeey
kids!
Are you
tired of your old toys? Bored of having to do all the work for them on
playtime? Do regular robots disappoint you? Had enough of those same old
transforming tricks?
Well have
we got a treat for you! Introducing SINGULARIT-O, the toy of the future! What
can it do that other toys can’t I hear you ask? Why , SINGULARIT-O is equipped
with a highly sophisticated Artificial Intelligence, allowing him to not only
take initiative for any game, but also to do a number of things!
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Παρασκευή 12 Ιουλίου 2013
Human Slaves of An Insect Nation, Part 14-Machinations of the Space Princess
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MotSP-making balls-to-the-wall
space opera action sexy again.
|
Human Slaves of An Insect Nation-Machinations of the Space Princess or
Faster than the speed of awesome.
It takes a lot to sell me on a science fiction
role-playing game. Sure, I love science fiction as a genre; in fact, I find it
to be the most thought-provocative and entertaining medium in all of fiction
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| Mostly because its best and greatest examples involve predicting the madcap world of tomorrow that’s just around the corner. |
But its
representatives in tabletop roleplaying have been-in my experience-inadequate
at best. This could be because I live in a country where D&D and its clones
are mostly the only games in town (with the exception of WoD, for which I do
not care for) but also because most of the science fiction rpgs I have come
across so far have been huge, convoluted disappointments.
It would
take a long for a science fiction rpg to sell me (especially in my current,
overworked, grumpy state). It’d have to be easy on the uptake, lighter than a
feather rules-wise and above all, fun. Which is why when I first encountered
Machinations of the Space Princess, I did so with considerable prejudice.
About 40
pages into it, I was so glad James Desborough had made me feel like a dick over
my (unfounded) preoccupation. I couldn’t put the book down and I was pleasantly
surprised to find myself taking down notes, modifying my Stormtroopers On The Lam campaign idea to fit it into the overall
universe and philosophy of Machinations.
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Σάββατο 29 Ιουνίου 2013
Movies from the Multiverse-Captain Planet
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So yeah, this is the creepiest thing I’ve seen all week…
|
Movies From the Multiverse-Captain Planet
I used to be in love with the
idea of gritty remakes of good, old-fashioned kid’s shows. I used to laugh at
the murderous little shock skits of Robot Chicken, where the Hanna Barbera
characters would turn into serial killers and I died laughing when I saw the
Batman-gets-his-spine-broken gag on the DC comics special.
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| It very nearly ruined Dark Kinght Returns for me, to be honest. Couldn’t stop singing the jig whenever Bane did something badass. |
But I got pretty sick of it, really fast, mostly
because Hollywood has become drunk off its pornography of pessimism, counting
on shock value and nostalgia to produce dark, grimy movies with no
entertainment value beyond the first screening. However, as this trend does not
show any real signs of waning, I have chosen to place my two cents on the
Internet, in the vain hope that maybe I can make abuse a franchise that has so
far eluded any attempts to remake it, mostly due to its overwhelming
cheesiness.
With that in mind, I give you:
The Shapescapes Captain Planet Grim
and Gritty Remake:
 |
Cue over-produced chorus remake of the Captain planet theme song
|
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Παρασκευή 21 Ιουνίου 2013
What i Think About Stuff-Man Of Steel
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Dun-dududun-duhduhduhduhduhdDUHDUHDUHDUH-DUNDUDDDUUUUNN-DUHDUHDUHDUH-DUHDUUNN!
|
What I Think About Stuff-Man Of Steel
Disclaimer: This is not strictly a review, but more of a short presentation on my
opinion on Man Of Steel. If you were looking for a comprehensive analysis on
the movie, then you won’t find it here. What you WILL find is the opinion of a
Superman nerd on the latest movie. For a complete take-down, visit Rhamy Payne’s
Cross-Up blog and follow his blow-by-blow analysis of the film’s flaws.
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Παρασκευή 14 Ιουνίου 2013
Imperium Reginae, Part Two-Races of the Empire
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| Life begets life, begets intelligence. |
Imperium Reginae, Part Two-Races of the Empire
The Austro-Russian Empire spans four planets,
each brimming with life. Its subjects range from plain old, boring humanity to
the Elves and Drow of Selene to even the alien Rakasha of Agathodaimon.
But what is the role and function of each of
intelligent race of the Empire? How do they fit in the greater scheme of
things? What is their position and function? In the interest of avoiding going
into too much detail, I will instead provide a rough guide to the class and
caste distinction of Imperial Society.
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Παρασκευή 7 Ιουνίου 2013
Mister Patches
My grandma
gave me Mister Patches when I was just four years old and still afraid of the
dark.
“Just hold
it close when the lights go out and make sure you don’t let go” she’d whispered
in my ear, as she handed me the disheveled teddy bear. Mister Patches was a
veteran of two World Wars, and it showed: he had a button for an eye and a
square of tricolette fabric on his belly. He had plaid armpits and the ends of
his feet were clad in felt. His smile was crooked, the black thread that
originally outlined his mouth long since torn, replaced halfway through by a
bright blue thread. It made his mouth look funny, like he was smiling two
different kinds of smiles:
“One” my
grandma said, pointing at the black-thread half “is for children that have
good-dreams. The other” she turned Mister Patches, showing the mad zig-zag of
blue “is for bogeymen, which Mister Patches eats.”
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Παρασκευή 31 Μαΐου 2013
Imperium Reginae, Part One
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| Orbs spinning in the void, kept in line by ruthless gravity |
Human Slaves of An Insect Nation-Imperium Reginae (a bare-bones attempt at
creating a steampunk setting)
I was never really partial to
steampunk. Not because I found the genre to be beneath me, but because when
you’ve been raised on a steady diet of British trip-your-balls-off science
fiction and Japanese psychic supermen, well…
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You can’t exactly go back to pretending like you give a damn about Star Trek |
But steampunk (for all the
unnecessary goggles, dials and cogs that it has added to perfectly functional
designs), has also added a great deal of awesome to pop culture, the kind that
you can’t exactly shrug off and pretend like it doesn’t exist. It bridges
fantasy and science fiction in that very special, bullshit science kind of way
that I have come to respect and admire.
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Σάββατο 25 Μαΐου 2013
Human Slaves of An Insect Nation, Part 13-Sexy In Spandex (short)
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| I’m only eating this dude because he’s EVIL! What? Eating people’s wrong now? Oh screw you, society, screw you! |
Human Slaves of An Insect Nation, Part 13 (shortie)-Sexy In Spandex
I was always curious as to why
almost every attempt of mine to run anything other than a fantasy campaign
failed so utterly. It took me about ten years before I made an honest, earnest
attempt at setting up an overarching plot, devoting all my brainjuice into this
singular act of weaving a long-running supers story and two years before I
could properly run it, before I realized what I had been doing wrong.
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Τετάρτη 22 Μαΐου 2013
Jar-Pet
Intelligent, Playful, Resourceful Jar-Pet For Adoption!
Are you a high-energy person with no time to care for a regular pet? We've got you covered!
Introducing the Jar-Pet! What’s a Jar-Pet, you’ll ask? It’s the answer
to your prayers!
I found my
Jar-Pet in my home’s cellar, abandoned its previous owner prior to his annihilating his entire family. Extremely intelligent, highly conversant and adaptable, the Jar-Pet is fluent in a number of languages (most of them dead) and an expert in the occult.
But that’s
not all! The Jar-Pet is also highly
resilient and can subsist for weeks without food, air or water. It cannot be harmed and is immune to all diseases. Believe me, I've tried.
Interested in adopting a Jar-Pet? Then call the number below!
WARNING: The Jar-Pet is not
intended to be owned by or exposed to, children. It must not be kept in a room containing -or in proximity to- religious symbols. Owners of the Jar-Pet accept full responsibility
for its dietary needs at the moment of adoption. The Jar-Pet should not be removed from its provided container, no matter how much it pleads. Should the Jar-Pet nest and/or
breed inside a tenement the previous owner holds no responsibility for its
actions, up to and including injury, loss of spiritual and mental integrity and loss of life.
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Σάββατο 18 Μαΐου 2013
What I Think About Stuff-Y the Last Man Review
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| Yorick Brown, hard at work trying not to look like he’s taking a shit. |
What I Think About Stuff-Y The Last Man
I don’t like Y the Last Man.
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| But it’s the feminist comic book epic of the decade, effenti! |
Yes. I know. And I don’t like it. To be honest, I
didn’t not enjoy it because it was poorly written, or because the premise
offended my overly masculine sensibilities or because its art was shit or even
because the comic book failed miserably at bringing its point across. This is not at all the case.
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Πέμπτη 16 Μαΐου 2013
Foundation Initiation, Take One
"You were chosen because you survived."
"You saw the things that dwelt inside and beside and within reality, or you stepped into the places where the universe burst at the seams, and you came out the other side.
You're here because you came out of something that defied understanding through luck, grit, or sheer bloody-minded tenacity."
"You were dragged from the ruins of your life, torn and bloodied, thinking that it was God's will or doing that brought you there.
"It wasn't. It was terror and tragedy transmitted into the fabric of your lives in indecipherable tongues.
"You were ants, caught in a flood as your world was swept away in the dark, screaming."
The man coughed once, then flicked his cigarette in the nether regions off-screen.
"That is no longer the case."
The reel ended, leaving behind the sound of old film, whipping itself like an old flagellant. The assorted crowd rustled uneasily in their seats. No words were spoken; there were whispers of fabrics on skin; the nervous, repeated flicks of lights conjuring flame.
Finally, the doctor spoke his four-word incantation:
"Welcome to the Foundation."
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Σάββατο 11 Μαΐου 2013
Human Slaves of An Insect Nation, Part 12-Chillin wit' Da Villains
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| I find your lack of phat beats…disturbing. |
Human Slaves of An Insect Nation, Part 12-Chillin’ Like Villains
In the previous installment of the series, I detailed
a few stepw toward generating a campaign villain: a creature that, despite its
complexities and motivations, is wholly and utterly commandeered and controlled
by you, the Storyteller, for the duration of the campaign.
Fellow redittor MetaMeh commented on last week’s article,
proposing I focus on giving some tips (or more specifically, my own ideas) on
handling the dynamics of more than one villains. As this is a subject that
requires almost an entire thesis on its presentation and handling, I have
instead chosen to take the easier road and try to address something that,
again, focuses on a number of evil people, but does not require any in-depth
look into campaign dynamics.
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| In short, evil characters. |
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Σάββατο 4 Μαΐου 2013
Why Haven't You read This? Part 4-I Can't do this Rhyming Shit Anymore
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| First Google result when you type ‘read’ that’s not a stock photo. The internet IS marvelous. |
Why Haven’t You Read This? Part 4-Can’t do this rhyming shit anymore
Moving on to cheap entertainment alternatives on the Internet that aren’t cat videos (and are in fact, more than competent works of fiction), here’s the 4th installment to cheap, awesome stuff you can find online for free!
But before
we move on, a quick nod to fellow scifi nerd and reviewer, Rusty Keele, who has
done me the huge favor of letting me do short science fiction story reviews on
his website, Bestsciencefictionstories.com. By the time you’re reading this,
Rusty, it will be the 1-year anniversary of our collaboration! I’d buy you
dinner, dude, but since we’re both at either ends of the planet, here’s a cool
robot that’s flying above the Earth!
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| There’s a lady riding on top of it, but you’re the pilot! |
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Παρασκευή 26 Απριλίου 2013
Movies from the Multiverse-Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
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| Always wanted to do that… |
Movies from the Multiverse-Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
I don’t know about you guys,
but I loved the Mummy Movies
(1&2 that is). They were cheesy, they were dumb but above all, they were
entertaining as all Hell. The Mummy 2 especially was knee-slappingly hilarious,
with its attempt to create a mythos that would, in turn, spawn a franchise but
remaining above all competent at its attempt to carry a pretty straightforward
narrative across.
Oh sure, it made a bunch of
Egyptians and Egyptiologists mad and probably got Tutankhamen rolling in his
grave, but those were the party-poopers that probably laughed along with
everyone else when Xena: Warrior Princess took a major dump all over Greek
Mythology, thereby rendering me oblivious to their collective butthurt.
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