Movies from the Multiverse-Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

Always wanted to do that…

Movies from the Multiverse-Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

I don’t know about you guys, but I loved the Mummy Movies (1&2 that is). They were cheesy, they were dumb but above all, they were entertaining as all Hell. The Mummy 2 especially was knee-slappingly hilarious, with its attempt to create a mythos that would, in turn, spawn a franchise but remaining above all competent at its attempt to carry a pretty straightforward narrative across.

Oh sure, it made a bunch of Egyptians and Egyptiologists mad and probably got Tutankhamen rolling in his grave, but those were the party-poopers that probably laughed along with everyone else when Xena: Warrior Princess took a major dump all over Greek Mythology, thereby rendering me oblivious to their collective butthurt.

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Human Slaves Of An Insect Nation, Part 11-Villainin'

Pitch-black schemes hatched in pitch-black depths, by ArchAngel73

Human Slaves of An Insect Nation, Part 11-Villainin’

A good friend of mine once said, as I was busy explaining to him my outline of Prototype’s plot in a manner that made its story appear, at the very least, competent, that…

‘Villains are important, dude. They like, make up for half the game.’

Needless to say, this was the sort of casual use of ABSOLUTE NARRATIVE WISDOM that occasionally grips my friends mid-conversation that just stuck in my brain and gave me the burning desire to elaborate on.

Of course, my constant attempts to bring back this spark of cosmic epiphany to my friend, failed; the bastard, after dispensing his bit, had left me to do the heavy lifting.

That was two years ago.

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Argo by Vasileios Kalampakas

Under the harsh light of an alien world...

The sound of small, shuffling feet roused Penthesileia from an uneasy, troubled sleep.

She rolled to the other side of her bed and slowly opened her eyes; she saw Heraclea standing by
the bedside in the dim blueish light of the glowstrips. The child’s face was pale white and taut
with fright. Her mouth was half-open, as if her scream had been sucked into the silent void.

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At the foot of my bed

There’s someone standing at the foot of my bed.

Every night for the past week, as my eyelids grow heavy and I slip into unconsciousness he comes out, his hands grasping the metal railing, rising one inch at a time.

He peeks out his head first. Black and featureless, a pair of cobalt-blue eyes set high up where the eyebrows should be. Then out come his shoulders, then his chest until he’s fully upright. He looks like a store mannequin; sexless, starved. I know I’m sleeping but my eyes are open and I see him, but I can’t bring myself to talk to him, or reach out to him. The gaunt man just stands there, his eyes transfixed to mine, his breathing shallow and ragged.

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Simulated Children

We’ve all done it, when we’re bored with them. When their tiny little lives remind us so much of our own and their tiny little houses are digitized reflections of our own dream homes (which we find to be ridiculous and obscene, when we finally realize them). Other times, it’s when we grow tired of the adult’s constant pleas for attention or the children’s screaming in the middle of the night. Some set their houses on fire and watch with interest and a tiny bit of glee at the tiny things on screen screaming gibberish and pray to their gods as their lives are reduced to ash. Others remove their pool ladders and watch as the sims drown, their simple little brains addled by this minor hindrance.

Myself, I loved starving them to death. I’d build a wall around my sims at an unexpected time (at a point when their lives seemed to be going smoothly, picture-perfectly) and then watch them as they looked up at me and screamed pictures. First bathroom, then boredom, then exhaustion. I’d never speed the process up. I’d just watch as their pleas became much more frequent and erratic, muting my speakers when their gibbering began to annoy me and watch them soil themselves and slowly waste away.

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Human Slaves Of An Insect Nation, Part 10-Games I won't Get To Run

 Yes sir, only motherfucking wayto travel by Stupid_Crow

Human Slaves of an Insect Nation, Part 10-Games I won’t get to run

Everybody gets a crazy idea stuck in their heads sometimes. Isaac Newton was absolutely convinced that a mysterious gas/element that burns everything but exists only for microseconds at a time existed, even as he kept the theory of gravity in the backburner. A dude called Kevin Eastman and his BFF, Peter Laird, thought it would be fun to make a story about teenage turtles with ninja skills and Renaissance painter names.

Some Japanese dude thought to himself: Imma make me a game that’s kinda about abortion, but it’s mostly intended as sociopolitical commentary! For kids!

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